Food for thought #5

#5 28 July 2013

Friends. We love them to bits because they bring joy and meaning to our lives – that’s the beauty of friendships. The tragedy of course, is when things go bad and we end up hating the ones we once loved.

Sometimes though.. there is no love lost or hate developed - two people just naturally drift apart without a reason or explanation; perhaps priorities changed (or we did).. and in the process, maybe it became a mutually understandable natural separation.

No need for apologies or goodbyes. We just go on and get by. Are became were. Strangers with memories. Memories of a time and moment when we were once friends.

In this lifetime, we all have and will have our different expectations and kinds of friendship. Strangers. Acquaintances. Friends. Close friends. Best friend. Soul mate. They each mean something distinctly different to each of us.

And we often treat or talk about these people in varying degree or frequency depending on how much they matter or how much they’ve hurt us. Bottom line is, we talk about them.

This post is a little different. This one is about the friend(s) we have/had that we won’t ever forget but may never speak of or about (again) – not by name anyway.

1) The crush – That one secret eye candy crush that no one knows about and no one must ever know about. Especially not him/her. So the thing about this crush is that you two might actually know each other on a very superficial level but you’re okay with that. You just don’t want anyone else to know. You just want to continue admiring this person of outer beauty from a distance without things getting awkward or worse – him/she losing that ‘magical appeal’ once you start to get to know eye candy crush better. Cos you know.. they are merely eye candies for a reason.

2) A friend that you're in love with – This is different from the crush that you can choose to keep your distance from. This is an actual friend that you see and talk to on a frequent inevitable basis. This could even be your best friend that you secretly love. Maybe, the feeling is actually mutual. Both of you know there’s a certain feeling of affection for each other but neither of you will mention or act on it because you also know that it’s almost definitely not going to work out as a relationship (and that failing, would literally mean it’ll be completely awkward or perhaps even over between you two even as friends); you both love and appreciate each other enough to always want the other in your life.. but as a friend, not a lover.

3) Friend with benefits – self exploratory. If you don’t know, you’re either too innocent or under aged. Please close this window and go to sleep. Those who do know though.. if it’s mutual, it’s cool (to each his or her own). But this is a friendship that needs to be kept between two people and two people only. Don’t be an asshole that kisses and tell after you get some or just because you’re never gonna get some more. This is not some public high score game. People might want to know but they don’t need to know – respect the other who trusted you.

4) The secret(s) friend that doesn’t fit into your regular social circle. That “outside” friend who you sometimes confide in just because you trust and find comfort in the belief that he or she won’t judge you or end up gossiping about you the way your friends in your regular social circle might, whether intentional or accidental. With this friend, you might actually open up a lot more to and find yourself being closer to this person than even your ‘regular’ friend. It’s your little secret. And you want to keep your secret friend and your secrets with this person as a special friendship that only the two of you share. No other.

5) The stranger – you may have met this person once. You may never meet this person again. But in that moment that you did, he/she made a significant impact that left a permanent imprint in your life. One which you will always remember and appreciate the lesson(s) that it taught you or just feel grateful that the moment itself happened. Some people call these strangers – angels in disguise. We may not know them, maybe we never will.. but it’s not who they are but what they did and left you with when your lives once coincided that's most valuable of this chance encounter.

Hmm there are more that I can think of and write about but this is just my personal take on like 5 "different" kinds of friend(s) that we won’t ever forget but may never speak of or about because.. well, because of a reason that only we will ever know why.